Everyone... Farewell...
Hey.
[Shinpachi and Kondo take on the Yagyu clan to bring back Otae who is marrying Kyubei.]
[Gintoki and his friends rush to the scene! Can they win against the Yagyu clan?]
Kyubei, I'm disappointed in you.
I sent you on your journey
to train in the martial arts so that you could perfect our Yagyu Chingage style of swordsmanship.
Now you return all of a sudden with that girl and tell me you want to marry her?
What were you doing these past three years?
Searching for a wife?!
With all due respect, Father...
Silence! I don't want you calling me "Father"!
I told you to call me "Papa"! "Daddy" is okay, too!
Kyubei, our Yagyu clan
is made of trueborn celebrities who have served the Shogun's family for generations.
Our duty is to continue the Yagyu style of swordsmanship and keep our celebrity blood intact.
Look at me-the truth is, I hate Persian cats.
I'm allergic to them. But I put up with them because I'm a celebrity.
Otae-chan is certainly cute.
But she's a mere daughter of a town dojo, and you're the successor to the Yagyu clan.
That's not balance.
Is it your intention to end our celebrity bloodline right here?
Just a minute, Kyubei! I'm not done yet.
People grow strong in order to protect something.
You can go on protecting what you want to protect, Papa.
I will protect the person I cherish.
I made a vow on this left eye I lost...
Hey! Just a minute, Kyubei!
Koshinori-sama!
What is it?
Shinpachi!
Why didn't you at least say something before doing something like this?!
Planning to do something this much fun all by yourself!
From now on, I'm calling you Sneakypachi!
Don't you guys understand that Shinpachi-kun didn't want to get you involved?!
Shut up, Gorilla! Then why are you involved in this?
Because of my ego!
Otae-san is marrying into this clan by choice!
I don't know her reasons, but...
there's no way she'd say good-bye with that face!
Maybe this isn't what Otae-san wants!
Only people who have a bone to pick, are supposed to be here.
There's no duty or anything here.
I can't have people who have nothing to do with this getting involved!
So why are you guys here?!
Kondo-san, you don't have to worry.
I came with a bone to pick, too.
I owe the Yagyu, so I came to pay them back.
Just so you know, today's my day off, so you don't have to be concerned about that.
Kondo-san, I just came because I have a bone to pick, too.
At this rate, I'll have to call a gorilla our missus.
Just so you know, I was supposed to work really hard today, but I took the day off.
You're all about yourself!
What're you talking about? You took today off, too, Kondo-san.
I took paid leave.
Gin-san...
I don't care anymore if people say I have a sister complex.
I love my sister. I don't want her to leave.
If there were any way to do it, I'd want to stay with her forever. But...
If he's the person she loves from the bottom of her heart,
even if he's a shady bastard who never has money...
or if he's a gorilla stalker...
or a mayo maniac or a hardcore sadist...
If Sis can be happy, then I'm prepared to send her off as I cry...
But...
to send Sis off with tears in her eyes...
I'd die before I let that happen.
I want Sis to always be smiling.
Gin-chan? What'll happen if Big Sis really does love that shrimp?
We'd be total jerks.
We're used to being jerks...and getting in people's way.
Shinpachi, remember this:
We're not doing this for justice or for your sister.
We're doing it for you.
Let me make it clear. I'm not on your side.
It's just that we share the same enemy.
Isn't he stereotypical? He thinks he's Vegeta.
[Note: Refers to Vegeta from Dragonball.]
He's planning on casually joining in.
We're far from being comrades, but with this group,
we just might be able to beat the Yagyu.
Shall we go, brother?
Who're you calling "brother"?
["Yesterday's Enemy, After All Is Said and Done, Is Still the Enemy"]
Did you hear?
That girl the Young Lord brought back
is getting run through the mill by Granny as part of her bride training.
A pity. It's only a matter of time before she runs away.
She was my type, too.
Hey, Kitaoji,
aren't you using too much ketchup?
Don't you know?
Ketchup was created to go well with everything.
You're making me sick. Stop it.
Looking at your dick-face makes me sicker.
What?!
Stop it, Kitaoji, Minamito. You're acting like kids.
I don't have to take that from a guy who eats a kiddie meal lunch at his age!
Shut up, dick-face!
What part?! What part looks like a dick?!
Stop it.
It's just food. You're disgraceful...
A bride, is it?
Seems three years on a martial arts training journey didn't change the Young Lord.
Dammit!
Tojo-san?
Damn Granny!
I told her to stock up on fresh eggs!
The yolk broke again! I'm going to the supermarket!
Calm down, Tojo-san! It's just food!
Shut up! Dick bod!
Now it's my entire body?! Looks like this is getting worse!
Hey, you're dripping egg from your crotch. Are you ovulating?
You deserved that, Sogo.
Ouch! What was that for?!
Well, nice of you to come, dojo busters.
But your remarkable ride ends here.
We are the guardians of the Yagyu clan...
Itsuki Kitaoji.
Sui Minamito.
Tsukamu Nishino.
And Ayumu Tojo.
Now that you face the Four Yagyu Aces, don't expect to leave here alive.
We don't have business with you.
Bring out your leader. Who are you guys?
Whose 100 percent are you? What 100 percent are you?
Are you 100 percent Yagyu?! You bastards!
[Note: Spoof of Strawberry 100%. Based on the Four Yagyu Aces' last names.]
We can't let small fry like you meet the Young Lord.
Throw down your swords! Or our hostage...
What's the hell are you doing?!
You said throw them down.
What kind of way is that to throw them down?!
Can't you see we have a hostage?!
Sorry, but he's got no value as a hostage.
Kill him! Kill him!
You'll regret this later.
Tojo-dono, let me take care of these guys...
Stop it!
They are relatives of my wife. No rough stuff.
Young Lord!
You come in droves... Shinpachi-kun.
I didn't think your attachment to your sister was this strong.
I didn't come today as her brother. I came as the head of Kodokan.
Tae Shimura is a valuable member of our dojo.
If you wish for her as your wife, decorum dictates that you come through me.
Decorum? What're you talking about?
As one who lives for the study of swordsmanship, you should understand.
Samurai settle matters faster with the sword than with words.
A samurai lives by the sword and dies by the sword. That being the case...
Take the woman with your sword.
We want a match with you, you bastard!
A match?
Do you think a match between our Yagyu dojo and your pathetic dojo would even be a fight?
Oh it will, sonny.
The truth is, we members of the Kodokan don't get along at all,
and don't socialize outside of the dojo.
We don't know anything about each other,
and we don't want to. We'd rather see each other die.
But I do know that we're all very strong.
Otae-dono, what is this?
Omelet.
Omelets have always been one of my best dishes.
I thought I had already perfected it,
but I did as you asked, Otaki-san, and improved it.
My repertoire has grown by this much...
Is our kitchen ground zero?
Yes, to an inexperienced wife, the kitchen is a battlefield.
That's not what I meant! These are completely burnt!
Everything's black! A soul society?! Is this a soul society?!
[Note: Refers to BLEACH. At the Soul society, soul reapers all wear black kimono.]
If you can't cook even a single dish,
it'll be a hundred years before you can marry into the Yagyu clan!
Otaki-san, don't you think it's rather rude for the person
in charge of training the new wife to strike her student?
Young lady! You're not fazed even a bit by my hazing! You are a frightening one!
If this woman marries into the Yagyu clan,
she will most certainly be a threat to me!
Forget it. I'm appalled by you!
Clean up that mess.
You mustn't throw it away. Make sure you eat it all.
Dog food matches you well.
Grandfather, that's supposed to be for the dog.
[Note: Binbokusai literally means "dirt poor."]
Binbokusai-sama! What're you eating?!
It's such a waste! It's still edible.
Edible, inedible is not the point!
The head of the Yagyu should not be doing such things!
You people barged in here. You'll have to follow Yagyu rules.
You want to play Othello?
Just so you know, we're really good at Othello.
We'll take all four corners.
We have plates here.
Each of us will wear these plates somewhere on our bodies and try to break each other's plates.
It'll be six versus six.
The battlefield will be the entirety of the Yagyu premises.
Those whose plates are broken must drop out of the game.
The side that breaks the captain's plate wins.
Those are the only rules.
We will beat that street-style swordsmanship of yours to a pulp
and put an end to any second thoughts.
That's fine with us, you bastards. We won't lose a fight.
Our captain is somewhere in this mansion.
Defeat him, and you win.
By the way, we're not telling you who it is.
We intend to break all your plates, so it doesn't matter who our captain is.
What the hell is this?!
I'm really angry! I'm not letting those guys have Otae-san!
She was never yours, either.
That pisses me off! Let's play with our captain out in the open!
So they can get him at any time!
That's not okay! He'd be KO'ed with one blow!
You're making me the captain?!
Naturally.
It's not how we wanted it, but we've become Kodokan students.
You don't have to worry!
I'll protect Shinpachi-kun with my life! Besides,
we have a lot to talk about.
Will she live with me, or will I live at your place?
Excuse me! Choose someone else!
More importantly, where is everyone going to wear their plates?
Since Hijikata-san has no intention of losing, he's going to wear his on his eye.
You trying to get my eye gouged out?!
Whether you worry or not, it's going to break when the time comes!
Just place them wherever.
I'll place mine here.
Why on me?!
It's your plate!
If it's only one eye, you'll be the same as that other character!
Couldn't you figure that out?
Think, Hijikata! You can do it, Hijikata!
Shut up you sadist duo!
Gin-chan!
I have a great idea! I'll put it under my foot!
They can't see it when I walk! Isn't that awesome? They'll never figure it out!
Ouch! I stepped on something. I cut my foot.
You can't fool us! What have you done?!
You crushed the plate before the match even began!
What'll we do about this? What'll we do?!
Go get a replacement!
Go to someone at the Yagyu household and get a replacement!
Wait. We don't know what the enemy is planning.
It's dangerous to move about alone. We'll form pairs.
Hijikata-san.
The hardcore sadist duo went off by themselves.
Excuse me...
Mind if we borrow a plate for a while?
Are you throwing a party?
You might say so.
Here...
Here. Use this.
No. It's got soy sauce on it.
All right, I'll use the one with soy sauce on it. You use mine.
I don't want to. It has mayo on it.
No, it doesn't.
Cut it out! This all started because of you...
I like that plate!
How do you plan on fighting while carrying that huge plate?
It has to be that plate.
You want me to smash your mayo plate to bits, too?
You...
The signal to start...
Hey! There's no time to be dawdling...
Guess I have no choice but to settle for the mayo plate.
Just a minute...
Wait! My plate...
Okay, she'll be first.
Deeper...deeper...all the way...
Grandfather, please stop sexually harassing me.
To think that the little girl who played with Kyubei is coming here as his bride...
A little deeper...as far as you can go...
If I dig any deeper, I might dig out something very important.
As long as I've known you, Otae-kun, you've always been smiling,
so it's difficult to know what you're thinking.
It's as if you're hiding something...
I'm not hiding anything! I didn't see anything!
Is...that so?
I just can't help but think you're still bothered by that time...
If not, then that's fine.
It might be a thorny path ahead, but I'm rooting for you two young ones.
Where are you going, Grandfather?
Seems we have some rowdy visitors.
I have to go.
Tsk... I missed the plate.
However...
You cannot escape...
our combo...!
Hey.
I'm going to get that girl.
Minamito!
Owie...
Hijikata-san...what is that? That huge target?
A handicap.
Hey Kitaoji. How's my face look?
Like a dick.
I was talking about my injuries.
It's covered with blood. Better hurry to your urologist.
Get off of that!
Oh...
A handsome guy looks good even when he's bleeding.
Hey Nishino, come here. Join us for a photo.
Geez... You're such a kid.
It's a souvenir. It's not that often we get injured.
Doesn't it look cool? Having blood on my face.
This is turning into a very interesting fight.
Why are you guys shooting in main frame?
It didn't work at all. Didn't even break the plate.
If I'd been with the Odd Jobs trio, we'd have finished them off.
Feeling homesick?
You were almost defeated?
Sogo, what happened to the Odd Jobs?
He'll be fine by himself.
You left Gin-chan alone?!
I'm going to find Gin-chan!
Gin-chan doesn't look it, but he gets lonely!
Hey! You're the lonely one! Don't move around by yourself!
Wait up, young lady.
You'll all be defeated anyway. Doesn't matter if you help him...
Get out of my way!
Those two idiots over there will be your opponents.
You kids can play swordfight together.
I like you! And that demon-like strength of yours!
I, Tsukamu Nishino, will be your opponent.
Hey!
Your opponent is over here...
The Demon Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi.
I, Itsuki Kitaoji, will show you what a real samurai is.
Suits me just fine.
That leaves you for me. I'm Sui Minamido.
What do you say, young man?
Let's say no attacks to the face.
We both have women who'd cry if something happened, right?
Don't worry about that.
Unlike you celebrities, we country samurai aren't popular with women.
Oh come on, I was trying to help you out.
Shut up. I get it.
If it's not your face, I can mess you up as much as I want.
You won't win that way. You have to break the plate.
What?
I didn't come here to break plates.
I came to beat you people to a pulp.
This...can't be...
This guy is ridiculously strong!
Oh, so this is where you were hiding it.
And what's more...
I have to beat you so I don't hit your face or the plate.
He's a hardcore sadist!
Minamito, why're you struggling with that kid?
That kid is dangerous...
What's the problem? He's no match for you.
Shut up! I'm not feeling well.
Hey, your arm...
You lost the use of your arm when you were protecting the plate...
Bending it back the opposite way should fix it.
Just a minute! I don't think you should do that...
Huh? Did I bend it the wrong way?
Why you...
What'd you do that for, you damn brat!
You broke it! I heard it snap!
Damn you! Most people don't kick hard enough to break bones!
Gin-chan says "an eye for an eye."
This match is done.
It's the ultimate stupidity to let the match get away because of infighting...
Hand over your plates.
No way!
It's useless. Samurai who can't use their arm or their leg are useless.
Samurai should face their end with grace.
Hmph.
With grace?
Unfortunately, we country samurai don't subscribe to that sort of Bushido.
So we're samurai who can't use an arm and a leg...
Hey, which do you hate more: teaming up with me or losing to them?
Both of you can go to hell.
I feel the same way.
But...
Gin-chan says to give back double what people do to you.
Come on out, country samurai!
We're over here, big stuff.
Let's have our final match.
Bring it on!
What's with that?
I can't use my leg; she can't use her arm. But if we cooperate...
Hey! Don't put your crotch so close to me! It's sickening!
I can't help it!
You think you can dodge my sword like that?!
We're incredibly light on our feet. Shall we do a tap dance for you?
I can't tap.
She says she can't tap dance, dammit!
I don't have time to play kiddy games!
Hey!
The bottom's doing all the dodging, but the top's taking all the hits!
Time out!
Hmph.
I was waiting for that.
This can't be! He planned this?!
Now!
The strategist is beaten by his own strategy!
[To be continued]
[The next episode...]
[Toshiro Hijikata vs. Itsuki Kitaoji]
"People who are picky about food are picky about people, too."
[The battle between Kodokan and the Yagyu clan continues. Next time, it's Hijikata vs. Kitaoji-mayonnaise against ketchup.]
[Will mayonnaise win? Or will ketchup? And where did Gintoki disappear to?]